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That panicky moment when your nurse texts you this in the morning yet last time you checked, it was still the 12th of February. Thought I overslept and went “sleeping-beauty”; waking up 3 days later. #latepost 😅😂

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Finally got these in my possession! I’m a #happy collector! 😊 Hand-painted polyresin #dagger shaped #pens! ❤

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In the last couple of months, school eating up my time led me to a very long inactivity here on tumblr. Writing to express myself had been placed on a hiatus for an indefinite time. I barely open tumblr since review + post grad studies came in. And, I don’t even know how would I share all these feels I get about being a student (again). Sometimes, I miss all those late nights when I could be spontaneous and just type whatever that gets into my head to make things appear clearer to me. Sadly, I will be unable to do that since I don’t have Internet connection here in my pseudo home. The least I could do is write something then post it whenever I possibly can.

As I am writing this, (January 6, 2012 11:35pm) I am on a study break. Needed to clear out things before opening another book. To be honest, I am actually feeling less inspired and less motivated than I was 7 months ago. Never felt this close to giving up in history! Things between school and I had not been promising. Yes, I understand that this is no longer undergraduate studies and of course, it can’t be as ‘happy-go-lucky’ as college was. I only need a little ego boost to get back on track yet so far, I haven’t had that boost since I came in. Feeling inadequate all the time to the point I question if I’m rightfully here; if my intelligence can keep up with this field I am aspiring to be into. Oh why do I entertain so much negativism?

At times like these, I vent out all the self frustration, hoping that it could give me an escape of the hurt I’m trying to battle. They say there’s no use of bawling out but when it’s the most you can do to feel better, then, might as well bawl it out than die bottling them all. Tonight, instead of bawling, I am placing these into writing. Opening my (not so private) life on the internet again, hoping that there’ll also be somebody in the same shoe who’ll feel he/she isn’t the only person experiencing almost exactly the same. Somebody could share the same burden as I am feeling right now.

And knowing me, after venting out things, I am able to organize myself again. I am like Lego bricks scattered and rebuilt again and again whenever I do this. And so, after writing those above, I am able to remind myself that med school isn’t just for the geniuses but for those who don’t give up on their dreams; for those who will keep fighting even with the big chance of losing. Hope is just a spark away. And although feeling less inspired than I was, I will challenge myself to continually reinvent and rediscover inspiration to be motivated again. I believe God has bigger plans for me. And these negativism will only blind me of the path God has made. So I’m shooing it away by putting them into writing.

Am I still making sense? If I’m not, I might as well stop talking (erm, writing) and get back to studying for these things take time.

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Schedule has to be kept closely tracked. Exams, study schedules, classes and pseudo-holidays has to be plotted to make room for “breathing”. Hence, the need for a planner! But my (forever) dilemma, I don’t know which to use for they’re too nice that I’d rather want to keep them on display. 😅

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Look! This is what #amazed @msmerylu and I after the drizzle!☁☔ A #lovely scene because of a #rainbow! Thank God for #surprises! 🌈❤ (at City Suites Tower Ramos)

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First morning after the #endoftheworld. @msmerylu and I had been 24hours awake just to witness the “apocalypse”. Haha!! 😂😁 (at City Suites Tower Ramos)

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Lookie!! @flairey ❤ Looks and tastes sooo good! #foodporn #cheesecake Congrats Ate @leagoeson ❤😍 (at CMYK Dessert House)

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Do you remember the days (and weeks) when #Magnum #icecream stocks instantly runs out because everyone seems to be in the hype to get the 50php-#Belgian-#chocolate-coated ice cream? Oh people!😊😁😆

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Who the heck is ‘Sei’? 😆 Haha this happens a lot especially when the baristas on duty aren’t the ones who usually make my #coffee. Yet, as always, they’re the friendliest people over the counter! P.S. I think I have a barista-obsession. Crushing on baristas again! ❤😍😂 (at Starbucks Coffee)

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Trying out their #Matcha Green Tea with Rock Salt and Cheese Foam! #TOKYO🇯🇵 ✨ (at Jelly Citea)